In Over My Head…

When I was young, I was always the first to volunteer for things the teacher needed done. I was the one my friends confided in and looked to for advice. I was the one who took charge, and got things done. You may have even called me the b-word…BOSSY! 😉 But this is who I’ve always been. I’ve always been a LEADER. I don’t know why– this is just how God made me.

As I’ve grown and have been given opportunities to lead in a professional environment, I’ve discovered one thing–leading/managing people is hard. Much harder than I ever anticipated. And to be honest there have been many moments over the past two years when I’ve looked to God and asked, “Did I make the right decision?” ” Is this really where you want me?”

As a “recovering people-pleaser” I am constantly reminding myself to not let people’s opinion of me dictate how I act, or more importantly, how I view and value myself. This is a constant struggle, because the “high” of people-pleasing is constantly calling my name and tempting me to give in. But I’ve learned that being a leader means that not everyone is going to like everything I do or every decision I make. Sometimes people will get upset or disagree with me and sometimes they will even misjudge my motives or intentions. But I can’t stop being who God created me to be.

Each day I strive to treat every person I meet with the dignity and respect they deserve as children of our gracious God. But even in my pursuit to be compassionate and loving, I’m a pretty direct person. As a leader I often have to correct behaviors and hold people accountable–and I don’t know how to beat around the bush. For me the only way to say what needs to be said is to just say it–anyway you slice it, that’s gonna rub some people wrong.

I’m working on my delivery and time and “compliment sandwiches”, but I’m human and imperfect, so I make mistakes everyday. But I try to acknowledge when I’m wrong and I try to make things right. I am constantly asking my team to give me grace as I navigate through the ins and outs of being a godly leader.

At the end of the day I have to give it to God.

There are few days when I don’t feel like I’m in over my head. But I know that through every challenge, situation, conversation, decision, meeting, conflict, and resolution God is growing me into the woman He created me to be…for His glory. I’m so grateful for His grace.

If you are a leader who understands where I’m coming from and has felt the way I often feel, let me encourage you.

Hang in there!

Keep running your race and striving to be your best. God has a plan for you and he doesn’t waste any experience. Gold is purified in the fire and diamonds are made under immense pressure (I know that’s cliche, but it’s so true!). Count your trials as joy, because they are strengthening your faith. When you feel overwhelmed, GO TO GOD and allow him to bear your burdens. It is in our weakness that He is strong.

When you feel like you’re in over your head–that’s when God can really show you who He is.